It is okay or at least it will be

Is there anything harder than leaving your child, kicking and screaming at preschool for the first time?!  I wish I could say it gets easier, but it doesn’t.  The only difference in the first time and the fourth is that I am more prepared for what will happen…but that doesn’t make it hurt less.  It is so unnatural…we spend the first 3 or 4 years doing everything we can for our children…protecting them from the harsh realities of the world, trying to anticipate any hurts they may feel so we can quickly make it better, just being their comfort and support…and then we drop them off to a brand new, chaotic world filled with new rules and strange faces. Of course they are going to cry!!  Wouldn’t you? (I know there are kids who don’t cry and that is not a poor reflection on your parenting…just means that their personality is ready to take on the world and up for anything!!)

Make sure you feel totally comfortable with the school and educators.  Speaking from experience, if you know that you your teacher loves your child, then saying goodbye between gulps will be less painful since the trust is there. If  your gut is telling you something is amiss, then don’t ignore it!!! That is your parental instinct kicking in….it is like your superpower-use it!! Assuming all is good with the school, then it is time to let go and give your child a chance to grow socially and build confidence.

It is okay…to hug & kiss your child and tell them you will see them soon and walk away.  Quick goodbyes are better because it helps your child know the routine.  One hug, one kiss and Mom will be back soon. L likes to scream and cry, at least until I get down the hallway and then all is magically quiet. Just to play up that Mommy guilt! 😉

It is okay…to give your child a chance to learn how to comfort themselves when you aren’t around.  This is a big deal and something that will help them in the future.  If they need that special lovie in their backpack, then do it.

It is okay….to watch your child’s confidence grow.  They love bringing home their school work-to show you what they can do! They aren’t babies any more, they are big kids. We know what our children are capable of, but sometimes it takes an outside person to show us that we should expect more.  I never thought that L, at 3 yrs old, could spell his (short) name.  But guess who surprised Mama on his 2nd day of school!! And he was sooo proud of himself!!

Transitions are hard for kids, but sometimes they are harder for parents. We all want to raise successful adults (even though our measurements of success may vary) and we all know our children have special talents and strengths that they should share with the world. Pre-school (or even over night camp for the first time) is a stepping stone on that learning path for us and our children.

This song, “We Were Born” by Cloud Cult, is so beautiful and meaningful. It just seems like a good fit for this idea of letting our children go…just a little bit! So, a hug, a kiss, a be back soon and this on repeat.

These lyrics really stand out:

I don’t know where we come from, and I don’t know where we go.
But my arms were made to hold you, so I will never let you go.
Cuz you were born to change this life.
You were born to chase the light.
You were born…


1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. kycanonist
    Aug 30, 2011 @ 19:59:38

    Thanks! I needed to be reminded of this!


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